a little crying moment.

I've just been watching The Nanny Diaries, where Scarlett J. is playing the part of a gratuated student who tries to find her way in the (real)life.. ending up as a Nanny and find out the rich life with some little glitz and glam isn't the most wonderfull and, surely, ends up fine and well at the end. Like always, duh.

For some reason, from the last 5 minutes till after the movie, I've been crying my eyes out and need to be blogging this. I dunno if it will help, don't even know whats the point or reason for all the tears.. maybe it's the fact that my luggage, all my fav, items I took with me to Paris, is missing.. or the fact I'm back in Amsterdam, or the fact I simply have no real clue what to do with my life.. In fact, I'm always known as the person with the biggest ambition, sort of talent, great contacts and the attitude to make sure I'll make it to wherever I wanna go.

But it's reality who hits me in the face right now, that for some reason I may have run around myself instead of moving forward. And I know, I really know, that things will work out, and that there, somewhere, is a great future waiting for me.. but how to get there, when to move, when to grow, I dunno. And for once in a little while again, I feel lost, weird and, oh well.. bah.

Even if my luggage don't come back, the 4 pair of boots, the furrcoats, the ysljacket, the trousers, the shirts, the sunglasses and more.. oh, and my camera shizz to put the photos online is in it aswell, so that may take a little longer, haha, I wouldn't even mind. Or I would, but it's not the worst thing. I think I have to figure stuff out and make sure that by the end of the summer I can step my game up and move forward again.

Because like everyone else, don't we simply want it all? A great place to live, a nice job, the love of your life and enough time and money to make sure you can do whatever you want, then okay.. not in a too hysterical way, *smile. Oh well, when looking ouside, through my window in my room at Dads I feel that something is coming, or has arrived, but I don't know what. Whatever it may be, whoever may be having it, it's up to be to figure that out.

And if anyone read all of this, you must be insane. But I'm pretty sure we all have little moments like this, probably. x


photo: facehunter.