I was a little worried that this week's recap might be without some of its usual vim and vigor, because I wrote it at 6:45am this morning, just before heading up to New York City for a few days. I shouldn't have worried, because the first stop on my New York itinerary (after a bagel, coffee and a quick stroll through Soho, of course) was the launch of the new-and-improved Sunglass Hut in downtown Manhattan (now without those pesky locked cases!), hosted by none other than Georgina herself, Ms. Michelle Trachtenberg.
I might have prepped a little more if I'd realized that this party was going to be so small – as it were, there were only about 30 of us crammed into the Sunglass Hut, so I basically shoulder-to-shoulder with G. as she gushed sweetly to other reporters about what was in her Chanel 2.55 bag (a Shu Uemura eyelash curler and a Blackberry) and also the details on her handmade jewelry line, Bella Veritas.
Naturally, she was wearing blue – a floor-length Diane von Furstenberg dress with an amazing black lace back. (Plus: Navy nails! I guess when you know what works…) She also had the most insanely creamy skin ever, which is making me feel that much worse about the terrible sunburn I'm suffering with (damn you, pony races!).
And with that, we head to our offical GG play-by-play. Be warned: There are spoilers!
6:58am: Hmmm. Well, Georgina, I have to say that the more evil you get, the worse your outfits get. I'd start lobbying the costume department to get you back into the blue.
7:00pm: Oooh! Nice eggplant Vespa, Vanessa! But your enormous lime green and gold earrings and huge gold chain necklace… I mean, c'mon. Has the accessories department just never stepped foot in a outer borough?
Nate! You're back! Looking good! {Which reminds us: Did anyone see the People Most Beautiful issue with the Ashlee Simpson-Pete Wentz q&a? And Pete alleges that all pretty boys with big eyelashes are wearing falsies? Our Chace Crawford-Zac Efron dreams are slowly being crusssshed.}
7:03am: Tensions mount as Chuck Bass and Dan face off in a grandpa cardigan showdown. Who will win? Will it be Chuck's overly buttoned-up mustard version? Or Dan's casually unbuttoned burnt orange? Only time will tell, but we've definitely got money on Chuck's plaid pants. They'd kick Dan's skinny dark jeans anyday.
7:06am: Oooh, Blair, I really don't know about that tiny little bow on your dress. It's like someone shrunk your bowtie. Your low ponytail, however, is really Audrey chic. Also, is everyone trading in brights for muted, mustardy tones this episode?
Mini dance party break! I do love these Madonna-JT Sunsilk commercials.
7:11am: That Rolling Stone picture of Rufus? Does it not look like he's wearing the worst Halloween wig ever? I thought he was supposed to be *hot* in the 90s!
7:13am: Ooooh! Grandpa cardigan throwdown!
7:14am: Wow, hangovers look pretty incredibly awesome on Serena. As do cute purple bathrobes.
7:17am: Is it not seriously weird that the housekeeper is making clandestine phone calls?
7:25am: Sober flashbacks necessitate sober outfits, I guess.
7:27am: Rehearsal dinner chic! Plus, this silver wide scarf with silver flowers might be Blair's best headband yet.
7:29am: A Lisa Loeb cameo? Oh Lisa, I think you and your black and white mini-dress are both pretty cute, but agreeing to host a VH1 has-beens concert on GG has probably been your worst career move since that reality dating show you did a few years ago. Which I watched an embarrassingly large amount of.
7:38am: Quickest Resolution of a Murder. Ever!
7:39am: Clearly, Rufus was just the worst '90s musician ever. And his lip synching just sucks. And why is no one rocking out anywhere near the front of the stage?
7:42am: I'm sorry, but that was an incredibly anticlimactic and passionless kiss, Lily and Rufus. Look alive, kids.
7:45am: So wow, there was just an incredibly lack of eye candy! Luckily, next week's wedding looks like it will be formal-tastic. Plus, now that this pesky murder business has been neatly taken care of, we can move back to more frivolous pursuits. Like dresses!
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